Smoke Gets in Your Lies


November 10, 1993

Written by

Michael Rowe

Directed by

Lee Shallat-Chemel

Previous Episode

The Pilot

Next Episode

My Fair Nanny

Trying to teach Brighton to be nicer to his sisters, Fran and Val tell him the story of a kid they knew who was meaner than him. Brighton takes that as a challenge and gets a note from his principal about being caught smoking. When Fran realizes that she might be Brighton's "inspiration", she decides to keep it from Mr. Sheffield. Fearing a retaliation from Brighton, she decides to tell him the truth, but is surprised when Brighton doesn't blame her. Nonetheless, he still has to learn his lesson, so Fran takes Brighton to see her chain-smoking grandma Yetta.

Cast Edit

Main Cast Edit

Recurring Cast Edit

Guest Cast Edit

  • Blanche Rubin as Old Lady
  • Michael McCarthy as Assistant
  • Esther Lapiduss as Auditioner
  • Jonathan Baker as Composer
  • Carol Channing as Herself
  • Timothy Thompson as Pianist

Quotes Edit


Fran: (to Brighton) Honey, I am so far ahead of you, we're in different time zones.

(The doorbell rings at the Sheffield mansion)
Fran: Oh, that's Val. You know, it's her first time to the mansion and she's my best friend, so I just want her to drop dead.
Niles: How thoughtful. I'll leave, you pose.
(as Niles gets and opens the door, Fran strikes a pose for Val)
Val: (with a look of amazement on her face as she enters the mansion) I'm droppin' dead.
Niles: (to Fran) Mission accomplished.

(Maxwell and Fran are talking alone)
Maxwell: Brighton's mother was the only one who could handle him. They had a special kind of relationship... He feared her!

Fran: He's gonna fire me. I'd fire me. Just when I figured out the bidet is not a water fountain.

Maggie: Dad's too busy. He doesn't have time to spend with us.
Grace: Maybe Daddy's seeing other children!

(Fran and Maxwell are in the middle of an argument)
Fran: Well, it's very easy for you to find faults. You're off all day with the glamorous theater people while I'm stuck at home working like a dog raising the kids.
Maxwell: You're the nanny. It's your job.
Fran: (exasperated) Well, you're the father, it's your job too... (lowering her voice and looking down) Mr. Sheffield, sir.
Maxwell: Go to your room. (looking at Fran)Yes, you.
Fran: (to Niles) Can you believe he sent me to my room?! He is so adorable sometimes.

Brighton: Hey, Maggs, wow! You look really beautiful.
Maggie: And...?
Brighton: And, nothing...You look really good!
Maggie: Shut up, Brighton!
Fran: Why are you being so nice to your sister? Who'd you kill?
Brighton: Why does everyone assume the worst of me?
Fran: It saves time.

Ad blocker interference detected!

Wikia is a free-to-use site that makes money from advertising. We have a modified experience for viewers using ad blockers

Wikia is not accessible if you’ve made further modifications. Remove the custom ad blocker rule(s) and the page will load as expected.